stu b heres one for you pal (its only a bit of fun)

[big si]

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway (the driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)! Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane (why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only!). Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 125mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 80mph. Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back up behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to go to court and show them. They would even give me some points, and if I get enough points they would take my drivers licence away! Can you imagine no need for a drivers licence? See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you drive a BMW

[frickinevilpaint]

Wit u sayin
This guy is spot on. Come to think of it, when talking about inferior cars he must be going on about those posh VW's you like - audis!

[Maxxed_Ross]

Anyone ever see the BMW recall a few months back to replace some defective parts? It seems that every BMW sold had broken indicators. Revisions were also made to the maual to explain exactly that they are for, in the unlikely event that you might have to use them! :lol:

[big si]

lol stu a bmw will never compete with an audi lol

[frickinevilpaint]

bmw will never compete with an audi lol

Yes you are right. Audi compete with skoda these days bit like austin competed with morris in the seventies. VW are the badge engineering kings whereas BMW products are unique are peerless. Only thing better is a Porsche.

I can see this being a good laugh!

[big si]

it would be if i would bite








BUT I WONT WOAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[ford_fanatic]

lol stu a bmw will never compete with an audi lol

I agree along the same lines as Stu... BMWs are a class ahead :P

BMW still use rear-wheel drive in their cars for starters! And whilst I'm aware of Audis wonderful 4-wheel drive technology, not all audi's come with that. ALL, I repeat, ALL BMW's have rear wheel drive. Even that hideous 1 series. And Rear wheel drive is just better 8) , particulalrly on round abouts.

Having said that I wouldn't have either one :P

Give me a Jaguar first any day.

[Big Gordy]

Even though I hate to admit it but the 'new' mini is technically a BMW and its front wheel drive :roll: :wink: So theoretically not ALL BMW's have rear wheel drive 8)

[big si]

ha ha wrong again mr haig
lol :lol: :lol:

[big si]

here is one for you guys

coming back from edinburgh tonight we got to hermy gate roundabout and to my horror there is a bmw parked at the side of the road.
as i say side of the road i mean the driver had come off the roundabout side on lost it and decided to park the BMW ontop of the barrier at the side of the road.

now in my eyes that isnt superior and mr haig remind us what you drive again.





oh yes a ford orion the barge of the road :lol: :lol:

never mind bud some day soon you will be able to get something smarter

[frickinevilpaint]

Si, if it had been an Audi the driver would have understeered to the scene of the accident and had no fun in the process!

Last time i passed that spot there was a Mazda 323 in the exact same position.

Bmw are only company to stick to front engine rear drive, the only company to stick to straight six engines. BMW's are unique products. No model they make can be found with a different badge for less money.

They really are in a class of their own. You may think i am biased but i have not always been. I once apon a time had a low oppinion of BMW's thinking that they are overpriced and not worth the extra money. Having bought one and had if for a year I cant see me ever driving anything else. I have driven 2 skodas in my time, so a can say wholeheartedly that I do not chose cars because of the badges they wear. Its because all BMW models are better than their competitors.

And while we are at it, Mr Haig's car is a class act. It is afterall a Junior executive saloon in the same class as the likes of the E30 3 series, Audi 80, and Volvo 360!

[big si]

i must agree stu bmws are very good cars its just the stigma attached to them that puts me off them.

as for the orion being a class act i would rather have any of the other three before mentioned as the orions were nothing more than scrap which didnt like corners!!!!

[big si]

oh and bms are set aside for ****ers people going through a mid life crisis and of course teachers


so you are quite safe there stu :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[frickinevilpaint]

I am obviously imune to this stigma through being a snob anyway.

[ford_fanatic]

Are you honestly saying you would rather have a Volvo 340/360 saloon over an Orion :?

class act

And hey actually Stu's right... Back in 1983 when the Orion was Launched there was a niche in the market at the time for compact/junior executive saloons. The Orion mopped the floor with everything at the time! The 1.6 EFi Ghia model in fact also beet the Cavalier SRi of the time (both as a car and for speed!) and even managed to somehow beet the BMW 316i of the time (although only the 316i model... I ain't trying to say and Orion is better than a BMW 3 series ok!).

As for slagging my car Si... I just covered 400miles this week between Longannet, some place down the M74, and going to that FRENZY festival in Edinburgh yesterday. I still have petrol left from a full tank and the oil hasn't all burnt away! Its splattered in dead flys, but its still rock solid!!!

And anyway, if you were going to buy (for say £100) a small saloon from late 80's and early 90's, apart from the VW Jetta, what other small saloon is there worth buying. The Volvo 300 series and 460, I think not, the renault 19, eeeeeeeek, and since Si your not 95 years old, I doubt you'd be wanting a Rover 400 either :P. That only leaves you that potatoe known as the Vauxhall Belmont...oh dear.

[big si]

oh oh oh a belmont i have had one of those a totaly crap car indeed lol

[Maxxed_Ross]

My mate Barry could testify to the crappy handling of the Orion - it almost put him in hospital twice :(

He gave me a lift into college every day (about 8-9 miles) and more than once it decided to do something scary on it's own. It was finaly written off when it decided to go straight on at a not so sharp corner.

I'll never set foot in one again :roll:

[ford_fanatic]

Yeah shame that when people don't replace the tyres on them... and keep expecting them to handle well!

[ford_fanatic]

Hey the Orion ain't great, but it ain't that bad either. Bare in mind its 80's technology! The 1.6i Ghia model had a rear anti-rollbar and fatter tyres and handled pretty well next to its rivals in its day!

My mums 206, being a peugeot is suppose to handle great! I went round a bend a short while ago on a country road, not too fast, and the front end just suddenly lost grip, and as i regained control the back end slipped away. Almost ended up in ditch in both instances! All the tyres have loads of tread and they are not cheap crap ones either!

Weird things can happen... otherwise its just crap driving :P

Personally though, I think the 206 was trying to get its revenge on me cos I slag it so much :?

[big si]

right guys enough can we get back to the topic rether than gibbering on about crap


thanks

[frickinevilpaint]

Just to say once again, BMW's are the nicest cars you can get. Discounting the 4x4 nonsense they all handle better than all the competitors cars being rear wheel drive. The interiors are amazing and the exterior styling is always very unique and above all very classy. More than anything else BMW's are the flashest motors you can get. You will see what I mean when i get my new one.

[ford_fanatic]

Discounting the 4x4 nonsense they all handle better than all the competitors cars

With the exception of Jaguars, yup that is damn true! BMW are ALWAYS at the top when it comes to handling. The interior quality is also top notch, and there are no squeaks, creaks and rattles (something which drives me up the wall!!!). Won't deny, part of me is a little tempted by a used 316i now :wink:
I was behind a J-plate 316 yesterday and, despite the fact it is like only a year younger than my Orion, it looked brilliant! I wonder how much a R reg 316/318 would be?

[Maxxed_Ross]

Not an awful lot as I looked at a few on my first car search. Needless to say insurance was silly (almost half the value of the car!) and it ended there :lol:

[frickinevilpaint]

Yes, BMW's can be expensive to insure compared to similarly spec'd other brand cars. I guess a lot get driven hard by idiots and subsequently crashed. The amount of people i see driving them whilst on mobile phones is very high! Also with them being rear wheel drive and so dam sexy they must be joyriders and car theives first choice.

Insurance is a rip off in general. They take your money and the way they treat you in the event of a claim is a disgrace. They make you feel that they couldn't care less whilst at the same time you hear about other people making ridiculous false claims and getting big payouts!

Disclaimer:
You still need insurance.

[ford_fanatic]

Won't deny, part of me is a little tempted by a used 316i now
*smashing head hard off computer desk in attempt knock sense back in*

Buy a BMW before a Ford... what the hell was I thinking the other night :?

Hey can't wait to see this coupe of yours stu... it looks really nice in the pics!

[Maxxed_Ross]

Still looks like it's had it's arse chopped off though :?

[ford_fanatic]

:?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?:

[Maxxed_Ross]

Sorry that's the compact I'm thinking of.... :oops:

[ford_fanatic]

Thou shalt not slag thee BMW Compact :!:

[big si]

i will its called freedom of speech :!: :!:

[ford_fanatic]

:roll:

[ford_fanatic]

An N-reg 328i SE for £3000!

NICE!!! A good way to leave even the V6 Mondeo driver for dust!

[ballsie]

Don't underestimate the Mondeo V6 !

[ford_fanatic]

my user name is "ford_fanatic"....
...I never put Fords down :D

and the Mondeo V6 engine was built/developed by Cosworth, making it quite possibly the finest V6 engine in any of the family car sector. A vauxhall Vectra may be faster from 0 to 60...but the Mondeo V6 will blitz everything in the race from 30 to 70mph!

[ballsie]

Indeed - my dad's had two of them. They were both deceptively quick. He's running around in the 3.0 ST220 just now - its a super saloon with the wrong badge to be honest.

[frickinevilpaint]

Dreadful behaviour, i wont let her drive it again!http://www.tamiyaclub.com/getuserimage.asp?t=g&id=img196_16072005205548_1_350.jpg

[ballsie]

Be careful with those kind of pics mate :D

[ford_fanatic]

Ballsie wrote:
its a super saloon with the wrong badge to be honest

Ahem! You been the perfect badge on it surely :P